2020 Democratic Debate in Houston | The Daily Show


With ten Democrats lined up
and ready on the stage, it was time to begin the third
Democratic presidential debate. And while most of the candidates
used their opening statement to pitch
their version of America, Kamala Harris decided
to fast-forward straight to her debate with Trump. First, I have a few words
for Donald Trump, who we all know is watching. So, President Trump, you’ve spent
the last two and a half years full-time trying to sow hate
and division among us as– and that is why
we’ve gotten nothing done. And now, President Trump,
you can go back to watching Fox News. (cheering and applause) Ooh, Kamala,
coming with the fire. You hear the crowd?
Hear how happy they were? You know Trump is pissed off
wherever he is right now, right? Yeah, he’s probably shouting
at the TV. “Joke’s on you! I got picture-in-picture!” He was super furious.
He’s like, “You know what? “Actually, you’re fired again,
Omarosa. I’m done with you!” So, Kamala Harris
used her opening remarks to go directly at Donald Trump. But Andrew Yang… Andrew Yang
went with a different approach. He just went
with cold, hard cash. It’s time to trust ourselves
more than our politicians. That’s why I’m going to do
something unprecedented tonight. My campaign will now give
a Freedom Dividend of $1,000 a month for an entire
year to ten American families, someone watching this
at home right now. If you believe that you can
solve your own problems better than any politician,
go to yang2020.com and tell us how $1,000 a month
will help you do just that. This is how
we will get our country working for us again,
the American people. Oh, look at Asian Oprah
over here! Just giving everybody money? Yeah. And clearly,
Yang’s not willing to wait for the presidency
to enact his policies. He’s just gonna do them now. Uh, and I mean it was
a cool moment, but I’m glad none of the other candidates
went with this approach. Can you imagine
if Bernie was like, “And I…
Okay, I will do my health care, “free health care right now!
Drop your pants! “Everyone’s getting
a prostate exam! “You getting an exam!
You getting an exam! Everyone’s getting an exam!” Speaking of free health care, I hope
Bernie has a voice doctor, because something was definitely
off with his throat. (with a hoarse voice):
This country is moving into an oligarchic form
of society where a handful of billionaires
control the economic and political life
of this country. No! Bernie! What happened to your voice? Sounds all raspy
and scratched up. It sounded like someone gave
Bernie a comb, and they’re like, “Sir, I think this could help,”
and then he swallowed it. (laughter) Yeah, I’m sorry,
but I miss his voice. Bernie with a diminished voice
is just not the same, man. It’s like Luke Skywalker, but
with a butter knife, you know? Or O.J. with a butter knife. (laughter) And I’m not the only one
who missed Bernie’s voice. I bet he did, too, because
the most contentious topic at tonight’s debate was
Bernie’s Medicare for All plan, specifically
whether it’s a good idea to replace all private
health insurance with a government-run
insurance plan. When it comes
to our health care and when it comes
to our premiums, I go with the doctor’s creed,
which is, “Do no harm.” And while Bernie wrote the bill,
I read the bill, -and on page eight…
-(audience clamoring) On page of the bill, it says that we will no longer have
private insurance as we know it. The problem, Senator Sanders, with that damn bill
that you wrote, and that Senator Warren backs, is that it doesn’t trust
the American people. I trust the American people to
make the right choice for them. Why don’t you? Yeah, Bernie, why don’t you
trust the American people? And Bernie’s probably thinking,
“I’ll tell you why. “Because one in five Americans
believes in Bigfoot. “That’s why. You want those
people deciding health care? That shit is crazy!” And while Buttigieg
and Klobuchar were going after Bernie’s
health care proposals, Julián Castro decided
that this was the perfect moment to try and take down the king. The option I’m proposing is
a Medicare for All in… Medicare for choice. If you want Medicare… If you lose the job
from your insurance comp… from your employer, you
automatically can buy into this. The difference between
what I support and what you support,
Vice President Biden, is that you require them
to opt in. And I would not require them
to opt in. They would automatically
be enrolled. They wouldn’t have to buy in. They do not have to buy in. -You just said that.
-No. You just said that
two minutes ago. They do not have to buy in
if they can’t afford it. You just said two minutes ago
that they would have to buy in. You said
they would have to buy in. Your grandmother would not have
to buy in. If she qualifies for Medicaid, she’d
automatically be in for it. Are you forgetting what you said
two minutes ago? -(audience groaning)
-Are you forgetting already what you said
just two minutes ago? Damn! Castro took it there! No, because he knows
Biden’s battling the narrative that he’s a forgetful old man. Yeah, so he jumped
on this opportunity to make Biden look old. “Are you forgetting
what you just said? Are you forget…?” And it didn’t help
that Biden seemed confused. ‘Cause he couldn’t hear, right,
so he couldn’t come back. So then Biden was like,
“What did you just say to me?! “No, really.
What did you just say? I forgot.
What did you just say?” So that was health care. The next topic of the debate
was criminal justice reform, right, which was one part
of the debate that had all the Democrats
pretty much on the same page. Uh, they all agreed
on reduced sentences, uh, the need
to fight racial bias and that snitches
should get stitches. So, it wasn’t
the most exciting topic, but things did get tense when the moderator shanked
Kamala in the yard. Also a concern
for people of color is criminal justice reform. Senator Harris, you released
your plan for that just this week,
and it does contradict some of your prior positions. Among them, you used
to oppose the legalization of marijuana.
Now you don’t. You used to oppose
outside investigations of police shootings.
Now you don’t. You’ve said that you changed
on these and other things because you were,
“Swimming against the current, and thankfully,
the currents have changed.” But when you had the power, why didn’t you try
to affect change then? (applause) Ouch. I didn’t believe in
black-on-black crime until now. (laughter) ‘Cause that question
was hard-core. In fact,
it was less of a question and more of just,
like, a public shaming. And Kamala was
clearly not impressed. I mean, that’s the face you make when someone walks into
the middle of a staff meeting and just starts reading
your browser history. It’s just like, “penispumps.com. “hamsterporn.net, Myspace…”
You’re like, “Take that back! -I was never on Myspace!”
-(laughter) I mean, just look
at Kamala’s face. You can see she was like,
“I don’t lock anyone up anymore, but I’m willing to make
an exception tonight.” And another topic, another topic
that had Democrats, uh, on the same page was the need
for stronger gun control laws. But one candidate stood out
amongst the rest. You said, “Americans
who own AR-15s and AK-47s will have to sell them
to the government, all of them.” You know the critics
call this confiscation. Are you proposing
taking away their guns, and how would this work? I am, if it’s a weapon
that was designed to kill people -(cheering)
-on a battlefield. Hell yes, we’re gonna take
your AR-15, your AK-47. -(cheering) -We’re not
gonna allow it to be used against fellow Americans
anymore. That is a ballsy statement
from Beto O’Rourke. ‘Cause I don’t think any other
candidate has said flat-out they’re gonna confiscate guns. And he said it
with such confidence as well, which is not the way
I would talk about taking away assault rifles
from people who like to shoot. (laughter) Yeah. If I was gonna take
someone’s AR-15, I’d be a lot more sneaky
about it. Be like, “Trevor,
are you here to take my rifle?” I’d be like,
“Oh, no, no. No, no, no. “We’re just here
in the neighborhood, you know. “Just hanging out. Just, like…
Oh, what’s that? -Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
-(laughter) So, that was guns. Next up came immigration. All right?
The candidates told the audience how they planned to undo
the policies enacted by Trump. No more kids in cages.
Increase legal immigration. Uh, give everyone free ladders
to climb over the wall. But when it came to Joe Biden, the moderator was more
interested in hearing his opinions
on President Obama’s policies. You served as vice president
in an administration that deported
three million people, the most ever in U.S. history. Are-are… are you prepared
to say tonight that you and President Obama made a mistake
about deportations? Why should Latinos trust you? This is a president who came
along with the DACA program. No one had ever done that
before. This is a president who sent
legislation to the desk saying he wants
to find a pathway for the 11 million undocumented
in the United States of America. Yeah, but you didn’t answer
the question. Well, yeah,
I did answer the question. No, did you make a mistake
with those deportations? The president did the best thing
that was able to be done -at the time.
-How about you? I’m the vice president
of the United States. Oh. That was not a good look
for Biden. Because…
This always happens, right? When Obama is being praised, Biden jumps into the picture
with him But then when Obama
is being criticized, Biden’s like, “Look, man,
I was the vice president. “I didn’t do shit.
Vice president doesn’t do shit. “Yeah. They don’t even give you
the keys to the White House. You have to wait for someone
to come unlock it for you.” But, like,
you can’t take all the credit and avoid
all of the blame, right? It would be like if people
all of sudden came to Robin, and they were like,
“Batman is a deranged vigilante “destroying Gotham
with his rocket-launching cars. He’s a bad man!”
And Robin’s like, “Hey, man,
I’m just the sidekick. “Like, do you see Robin signals
in the sky? No, no. “It’s not the Robin-mobile.
We don’t have a Robin-cave. Yeah, yeah.
By the way, I’m underage.” This is actually creepy
when you think about it. But even though Biden was happy to run away from Obama’s record
on deportations, for the most part,
the candidates on stage tonight wanted to make one thing
very clear. They roll with Barack. I want to give credit first
to Barack Obama for really bringing us this far. We would not be here
if he hadn’t the courage. We all owe a huge debt
to President Obama. What I favor is something that
what Barack Obama wanted to do from the very beginning. Well, I’m for Barack. I’m fulfilling…
fulfilling the legacy of Barack Obama, and you’re not. -(laughter, gasps)
-Wow! That’s the power
of Barack Obama. Almost four years later,
so many Democratic candidates are still trying to wrap
themselves in his legacy. He was getting so much love
at tonight’s debate, I bet Michelle
was looking at him, like, “Is there something
you want to tell me?” Huh? Were you smashing
all these candidates?”

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