Don’t Let Your Narcissistic Family Kill You! (Stress Relief For Empaths)

Don’t Let Your Narcissistic Family Kill You! (Stress Relief For Empaths)

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hello everyone this is evening ransom and
welcome to my ransom notes Noah podcast This is a survival kit and it wasn’t necessarily only for the holidays, but I do
think that this is a perfect time for it so I’m gonna go ahead and do this
episode now just with some strategies and tools to to take care of yourself. I’ve told the
story of how I had a stress-related heart attack as a young otherwise
healthy mother of two little little kids back in 2001 and you know Simpson I’ve
had an enormous respect for the mind-body connection and the danger of
chronic stress the problem for most people today is that we have normalized
a lifestyle that cannot be maintained without significant cost to our
long-term health and happiness some of the tips on managing stress that I hope
you take to heart pardon the pun first we’ll learn your stress style because
you know not everybody handles stress the same way if not much bothers you
then you can just kind of give your body what it’s asking for you know let your
brain turn off for a while if they want to watch TV in bed Joe grab a light book
maybe even talk to someone else about their life just get your mind off or
that wherever the stress is coming from for long enough for you to be
clear-headed if you internalize stress you become increasingly tense you lose
sleep or you sleep too much you eat too much you eat too little you snap at
people for no reason no reason they’re they’re responsible for it’s just
they’re snapping it then with your stress then you need to override what
your natural tendencies are and are telling you to do first step is really
identify when you are entering a stress mode
you are not blindsided and miserable before you have time to do something
about it comes a stress prevention is really truly so much better than cure
when it you know when it comes to stress prevention is way better than cure
exercise is your ally exercise is your ally when it comes to stress it relieves
pressure it produces endorphins it helps to maintain self esteem during some of
the more stressful events that may be causing you doubt to doubt yourself and
I want to tell you too that this is I am I am working progress myself I am I
don’t profess to say that I am perfect in all this stuff at all I am NOT I I
strive to to improve these things myself because I’m not the greatest at it I
tend to tell myself oh I’m handling stress just fine and then sometimes I
can I can realize it you know maybe not what happens to me I attended tournament
turn inside get depressed that’s what I can do is dress I and I tend to be an
ani turn on sleeper so anyway eat your fruits veggies protein whole grain and
this is the thing too is that when you’re stressed out this what do you be
tempted to eat the bad stuff I obviously tooth or at least have
something that you know has been my more recent thing um but you know you really
want to monitor your alcohol intake you want to monitor your you know drugs
alcohol and sugar things that really really mess with your brain I think
certain things were put on this planet by God himself to you know so that we
could there were natural medicines here on the earth for us to use and even you
know dark chocolate has feel good to feel good quality in it don’t eat boxes
and bucks the chocolate but certainly I have some dark chocolate that kind of
stuff everything in moderation everything in moderation is fine a okay
by me okay get enough sleep not too much sleep
not too much now and not too little but get enough sleep and maybe just a little
more than you might normally get but you know don’t don’t sleep all day because
it wait you know I’m sure you’ve had this experience where you the more you
sleep the more you have to sleep that for sure is that that for sure
definitely happened and you know there’s there’s always an argument about whether
or not you can bank sleep I tend to think you can I at least but everyone’s
really different but I I tend to be a person who can sleep can Bank sleep if I
sleep a lot one day I don’t have to sleep very much the next day just to
sort of how it goes for me but you know everyone is different but the point of
it is is that if you and if you have are having if your are a person who needs to
sleep and having a hard time getting sleep create a sleep ritual create a
wine down ritual so that you could start a little bit ahead of time and you know
just do it like you don’t clear them kid you know my kids had a bedtime routine
every night it was a bath it was a story it was bath and to brush your teeth in
historian of prayer and and that was our bedtime routine and it was sort of that
they knew sleep was coming you know it was comforting it was you know sort of
baby yourself and give you so give yourself a sleep routine and I some of
those things I think are really great I think a bath is great I think maybe
writing in a gratitude journal saying a prayer oh you suppose you hear you know
your bedtime routine and I think that that’s a great thing eating and sleep
eating and drinking right up it’s a bedtime can be can disrupt your sleep so
just be careful with that and journaling is always great and prayer is always
great talk it over with your higher power I call my higher power God and I
believe that a spirit prayer is God please help me that is the best prayer
that there is and in half state that help is coming know that you’re gonna
get through whatever it is and the whatever is happening is happening for
some reason look for the reason and learn it rather than looking for ways to
escape it that ultimately only create more stress we know what these are right
procrastination bad attitudes addiction that you have what you need to do what
you must do and you’re not alone and know this to know that nothing something
isn’t necessarily wrong because something bad happened this life here
that we were put here to live we’re not supposed to be a cushion because she a
cushy little experience perhaps lucky cloud
were put here for struggles we were put here for problems and to learn our way
through it to learn things and learn skills that’s why we’re here so it’s
okay it’s okay if you know bad things happen and
problems are where we learn you don’t learn anything that things are all going
great and and sometimes part what you need to learn is to be self soothing to
be comforting to pair it yourself and you take good care of yourself and to
love yourself anyway let yourself even in the hardest of times self compassion
is a wonderful skill and also self compassion is a skill you must have in
order to have compassion for other people now this is something a lot of
codependents get wrong we think that we can’t we can give compassion and love to
all kinds of other people without giving it to ourselves and it’s a fallacy
we really can’t and we especially can’t if we are not getting it from if we
don’t get love from anyone else if we’re being we are being taken from by every
word around us and surrounded by narcissists and then we only give we
don’t we don’t have anywhere to still back up we will eventually end up having
a heart attack just like I did or something else something else will
happen but it won’t be good you can’t your your body will eventually talk back
your body eventually will say no trust me I know get support this is an example
list get support delegate and then let people do things their own way okay this
is a hard one too for a lot of controlling people a lot of neurotic
people and you know neurotic and here.i we always think there otic is a bad word
you know neurotics make the world go round you know I mean neurotics have um
they’re not hurting people neurotic people are not hurting anybody
no other people are hurting themselves mostly but not people have a conscience
neurotic people are really responsible and basically really good people we just
we just have to back it off a little a little bit not so hard on ourselves be a
little bit letting someone else take responsibility for some things and in
this case we’re talking about delegate some things and you know letting people
do them their way it doesn’t things won’t have to be done perfectly there
have to be done you’re in your way is it necessarily perfectly is what I think
it’s done you know cat gets fed and the litter box gets
clean enough you know it doesn’t have something your way to have you gotta you
know just let it let it go let it go and the more you live life and the more you
the more things would happen in your life the more you’re able to really put
perspective on what’s a little thing what’s a big thing most things a little
things really most things a little things you know there isn’t a whole lot
that I get exercised about there really isn’t and most things are little things
they’re not big deal so really no reason to cause yourself stress and certainly
not to have a heart attack know my biggest thing always always has
been and still is to this day is one of the people hurt my feelings well you
know I don’t have control of what our people do I don’t have control over my
own reactions to them that’s a tricky one and it’s fun and I still work on you
know really do alrighty so this is the thing here the fascinating thing about
stress is that it is largely self induced you can’t choose what happens
all the time but you can choose the way you react to it how he reacts is a lot
about who you are and I believe that the universe arranges ways to bring each of
us into our truest and best selves you may find that you’re reacting
differently to stress results in fewer stressful events in your life because
you learned that lesson this is a fascinating since this won’t happen
overnight find activities that are soothing to you distracting when needed
and Happiness and inducing. take a walk , Do some art, volunteer, turn up the music,
sing, dance privately or with your family, get some physical contact with someone
you love, hold hands, hug , make love , go for a drive just for the change of scenery,
watch a funny movie laugh out loud find a way to focus on something else and you
may find you feel better and more able to find creative solutions to the
problem causing you stress right now there are so many free things you can do
go drive around look at the lights look at the Christmas lights people put up in
the name on their houses go window-shopping
um in our town we have something called zoo lights we can go to the zoo and they
have lights up in the zoo I don’t know probably a lot of places that have zoos
have that it’s a great time to volunteer there’s all kinds of places that that
want volunteer help and and especially if you’re feeling lonesome you’re
feeling lonesome the best thing to do is to be there for someone else who’s
lonely who’s alone that’s a great cheer for loneliness um and lastly stay in
reality most of the problems in our lives never actually happen you know and
uh you know I’ve even saying that even though a lot of things that happen to me
but most things don’t happen you know we spend a lot of time stressed out over
what could happen dreading our worst fears when you feel stressed out it is
important to look at the situation realistically and of course you know my
saying is embrace reality embrace reality is a big one and so always do
that and I it’s always embrace reality look at things that they really are not
worse than they are not better than they are and then as soon as you’ve done that
find a way to look at it better than it is so you know where you really are but
you could imagine it better and then you can start figuring out ways to get from
here to there denial call if my heart attack and then I became frozen in fear
about what was gonna happen to my children at the lowest time in my life I
never knew how I was going to pay the upcoming rent or buy groceries when our
food ran out I helped but I realized that we were never hungry we never went
hungry we had a warm place to sleep every night we always did I feared an
uncertain future but in the present we were always okay I started to replace
fear with gratitude and that made all the difference it wasn’t long and money
was no longer a problem in my life at all I had learned that lesson and if you
can stay great if you can stay grateful even grateful for the challenge that
you’re in and write that down ready to lift I’m grateful for the
challenges I mean I’m grateful for these obstacles they will change I promise you
this is this is this is this is a trident you these are tried and true
techniques here this is from my own my own experience this is absolutely a
great a great method to to really try put this away and use it whenever it’s
great this will get you to the holidays it will but it’ll get you through it’ll
get you through dark times it will get you through narcissistic and divorce it
will get you through it will get you through a breakup it will get you
through a lot of the things the struggles and the strains that we go
through as narcissistic abuse victims so which is it you know which is a
particular kind of issue which is it’s specific and brutal and and some of the
things are that we have to deal with and so we need some social skills we need
some special tenors mates and special awareness because generally speaking we
tend to be sensitive people also so you know we’re given a big heap of doodoo to
have to deal with and a lot of times also we we have we have a lot of people
in our life that are abusive so it may be that the people getting most of the
people most of the people are getting the most abused and have the least
support and that that a lot it happens very frequently to to people like us all
right guys so bless you all I love you so much and keep going
happy holidays I’m still right here okay talk to you later bye bye
empowering those who yearn for more love intimacy and passion in the
relationships and lives find my ransom notes podcast online at evening ransom
comm join us next time on the my ransom notes Noah podcast
the podcast for newly opening and awakening hearts you

6 thoughts on “Don’t Let Your Narcissistic Family Kill You! (Stress Relief For Empaths)”

  1. Happy New Years Everyone! I feel like it has been a long time since i've uploaded a new video1 That was partly intentional and partly circumstantial. More on this later. I had trouble uploading my new video today while traveling, but I thought this video was a good reminder for us. I will upload asap about NEW YEARS in MExico City and my plans for my life and this channel in 2019. Congratulations to my 4 giveaway winners ! That was lot of fun! Be safe all and I"ll see you soon.

  2. Getting in tune with what your stress/fear reactions are is harder than one thinks. It takes some introspection and persistence to be able to hear that inner voice for some.

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