Kevin Love talks anxiety, depression and the time he thought he was going to die mid-game

Kevin Love talks anxiety, depression and the time he thought he was going to die mid-game

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[MUSIC PLAYING] [VOCALIZING] – Being a man means
responsibility, accepting it, leaning into it. – I don’t know, and I
think I’m OK with that. – Love. – Tenacity. – Strong. – To me, a man means gentleness
and it means collaboration. – I’m a man. I told my son it’s OK to cry. My dad never told me that. [MUSIC PLAYING] – (SINGING) Won’t
you let it all out. JASON ROSARIO: Some men are
chasing unrealistic ideals of what it means to be a man. And oftentimes, it leads us to
suffer in isolation and deal with depression and anxiety. Trust me, I’ve dealt with it,
and I continue to deal with it. But this is a
conversation that most men aren’t comfortable
having, for fear of appearing weak or soft. But today, we are gonna
have that conversation. Even my guest today, NBA
champion and all-star Kevin Love, says that some of
the most severe cases of depression and anxiety can
occur at the peak of success. This is a particularly
important conversation, as we kick off Mental
Health Awareness month. I’m Jason Rosario, and
this is “Dear Men.” [MUSIC PLAYING] Take me through what
happened in 2017 during the game with
the Hawks and when you had the panic attack. KEVIN LOVE: I had never
experienced anything like that before. I thought I was
having cardiac arrest or I was having a heart
attack, I was gonna die. You know, some tough things
were happening close to, not only myself, but
the people around me. I remember going into that game
and not feeling quite right. It was just one of those
things where I couldn’t– I couldn’t catch my
breath, you know? My heart was pounding. I couldn’t get it to stop. JASON ROSARIO: Was
there a trigger there? Was it something
that someone said? Did you feel something
in particular? What happened? KEVIN LOVE: Everything
that was going on away from basketball kind of
manifested itself from there in the worst possible way. And I just thought to
myself, oh, here we go again. They had sent me to
the Cleveland clinic, and they said nothing was wrong. And that’s when I
really felt like, OK, there’s obviously
something wrong here. Not necessarily something
that’s gonna show up on a test that they have, but I don’t
want to be here again. This was an experience
where I was actually out there on the court. And it happened
during a game, and I didn’t have anywhere to go. So I just checked
myself out and went straight to the locker room. It wasn’t till the next
week after that I thought to myself– looked
in the mirror, I wasn’t passing
the mirror test. And I thought, wow,
I really have to– I really have to
change something. JASON ROSARIO: So
have you gotten better at recognizing those markers? KEVIN LOVE: For sure. And, you know, I’ve gone to
therapy now for about a– you know, since that time. I think I actually
had started within 10 days of that happening. JASON ROSARIO: You
know, what’s interesting to me is that, as an athlete,
you get paid to be in tune with your body intimately. So, for me, it’s
just so surprising that you just didn’t
have an awareness of what was happening in that regard. KEVIN LOVE: I had
always, in my life, had somewhere to go in
situations like that. Like it would either
manifest itself in rage, because I didn’t really
know what was going on, especially when I was young. I would have rage
fits, because I didn’t know what I was feeling. My room would be smashed up. There’d be things broken. I’d be one of those kids
screaming into his pillow, or I would just sit there
and not come out of my room. Basketball was always
that safe place for me, the place where I would
go and clear my head. And that was the
last domino to drop. I was always taught
to suppress it. I had my playbook when I
was young, where it was just never show your emotion. And my dad was from the time– I mean, he was born in ’49,
his dad much before that, and they were taught
to suppress it. I just kind of took from him
what I learned and carried that over into my adulthood. JASON ROSARIO: And your
dad was an NBA player– KEVIN LOVE: Yes. JASON ROSARIO:
–back in the ’70s. KEVIN LOVE: Yes. JASON ROSARIO: Did he teach
you anything about how to handle the pressures? Now, I know it was a different
world, different time. KEVIN LOVE: Right. JASON ROSARIO: And
especially after you kind of had the experience and started
to be more vocal about it, were there any conversations? KEVIN LOVE: Well, I know that
my dad’s side of the family has dealt with
this kind of stuff before, especially from
a depression standpoint. You know, I think my dad, he
did a great job with us kids in order to set
us up for success. I think coming
from his background and coming from an age where
you just didn’t talk about it, he didn’t necessarily
have the tools in order to teach me what I
was going through or be able to express myself. Because he taught me to never
show them your weakness, you know? Never– just keep it inside. Don’t tell anybody
what you’re feeling. Get over it. I mean, there’s just different
triggers that I remember. I think it’s very important
to get it off your chest, and it’s also– it’s very liberating
when you do that. I truly feel like
nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say. A lot of things haunt
us that we keep inside. JASON ROSARIO: I think a large
part of the reason why we don’t seek help, especially
around mental health issues, is because we feel
like we have to uphold these standards of masculinity
and manhood, right? I wonder how that is more or
less prevalent in the culture that you’re in, right? In the league, you’re
in locker rooms– are you having these
conversations with guys at all? KEVIN LOVE: I definitely am,
especially since my article came out on “The
Players’ Tribune.” I’ve had a number of guys that
actually haven’t expressed themselves at all publicly
and have come up to me and asked how I can get help. Being vulnerable
is very important. I think that’s another word
that has a negative connotation to it, especially when it comes
to masculinity and manlihood. You feel like you can’t
be vulnerable, especially in a number of
situations, including playing professional sports
or playing sports in general. So I think it’s
important that we have these conversations and
to further these conversations. And in some ways, you know,
just changing the language. [CAMERAS CLICKING] – One more time, sir. JASON ROSARIO: A lot of people
think that the more successful you are, the less prone
you are to suffering from anxiety and depression. It’s actually the opposite,
as you can attest to. So tell me how you deal with
that as a successful athlete, and then how that’s
playing out in your life on a day-to-day basis. KEVIN LOVE: Well,
what I’ve learned is no one’s immune
to depression. Nobody’s immune to anxiety. You know, one of my favorite
people in the world– Anthony Bourdain. So when he passed, Kate Spade
passed in the same week. I watched Robin Williams’
documentary as well, where he suffered from a lot of demons. And that really hit home for me. And a lot of people
have come up to me and either told
me their stories, and they’re not willing to
share it with anybody yet, whether it be a therapist or
a friend or a family member. But knowing that it transcends
any race, sexual preference, socioeconomic status,
whatever it is– it really transcends
really anyone, and anybody can be dealing with it. And I would bet you,
more often than not, that somebody– whether
it’s yourself or somebody within arm’s reach– is dealing with
it, close to you. And it’s a big part of the
reason I’m sitting here today, because I wanted
to share my story. JASON ROSARIO: Kevin, thank
you so much for being here. I appreciate the conversation. KEVIN LOVE: Thank you. [MUSIC PLAYING] – I think I rely on those old,
traditional male stereotypes to just, you know,
put my head down and just try to
grind through it. Or drink a lot. – I’m not a very
emotional person. I just sort of, I guess,
internalize it, and then let it out, until I’m exhausted. And then you attempt to
move on as best as you can. – I’ve struggled
with depression, with anxiety, with ADHD. I’ve struggled with all of those
over the course of the years. And especially as a
black man, it’s something that we don’t talk about. It’s certainly stigmatized
in our community. – Manhood, you know, assumes
that you repress your emotions. And then there’s the
double cake layer of being a Korean-American
man, which is a solitary being in an island of loneliness. – I was going to a
therapist for a while, and she helped me tremendously. But I don’t really have
somebody close enough for me to tell my dark
secrets and what’s on my mind. – When you’re trying to
express that, it’s better not. So you put that
there, unless you wanted to face some sort of, you
know, depression of some sort. So you don’t open that box. That stays. [MUSIC PLAYING] JASON ROSARIO: You can
find more mental health resources on my Instagram
and Twitter, @JasonRosario. And make sure you use
the hashtag #DearMen and tell me about your journey. Thanks again for watching. I’m Jason Rosario, and
this is “Dear Men.” [MUSIC PLAYING]

8 thoughts on “Kevin Love talks anxiety, depression and the time he thought he was going to die mid-game”

  1. Ok so its actually sad watching this as a woman
    You know what
    One OR two OR three panic attacks are not a sign of a mental illness
    I mean i experienced panic attacks and i definitly know what they feel like…. However i DO think that There is not a thing such as Depression
    Depression and anxiety ARE NOT REAL
    I KNOW this is an super unpopular opinon but i will explain my point

    First off Depression is nothing but you being weak and you actually willing to be weak. Yes your unwillig mind Just doesnt want to do anything against it. People wont consider themselves as victims of Depression if There wouldnt be the term "Depression"
    They would say that its a Hard time or There are simply some Problems or a better term for that: challenges that they have to Deal with
    Secondly it is actually suprising that almost NO POOR people are dealing with "Depression"
    Because they Dont have time for that… They need to feed their family and work for warm meals
    A thing such as "Depression" is for people who have time for that like Managers, architekts, doctors…
    Sure they have a pretty busy time table too but not every penny counts for them. Now u would say Well theres a lot of pressure on a Manager
    Yes i KNOW that my dad himself is Manager of a Company… But all those people who are calming to have a burn out or whatever are wimps. My grandfather was heart sick and had to work as a mechanic to feed his four daughters and his wife. Was he a victim of Depression? No… Now Just think about why..
    ITS actually sad that nowdays its Kind of a Trend to have Depression
    Actually funny

    Now The thing with anxiety
    I personally experienced 4 panic attacks so far and im 20
    But i didnt go to therapy brcause u know what…. I Dont need a Person who doesnt know me at all to explain to me how my brain is working and what i should and should not do!?!
    Of course a therapist can help expecially if for example someone got sexually abused etc.
    But having a panic attack once and then saying that u have anxiety is bullshit Sorry
    As i said its an unpopular opinion but i went though this whole lie with my Dad who claimed to have burn out and Depression
    Idk maybe im thinking like this brcause im still hurt because of him
    Just wanted to get this off my chest

  2. Men should not be taught to be cry babies and weak. Do you think we defended our countries and our families by being weak? It may come at a cost but there is a cost in everything and believe me, if you just want to create a world of Ying, and suppress the yang, you will face the consequences, just as we are now. Men are being taught that it is shameful to be strong or masculine by women and even when getting a job and trying to be a provider the women aren't interested anymore because they are filling into the mans role. Men can't have children and women aren't having children now… until it's too late and then they realise…. "oh I was on a clock" yes, we are all on a clock and had women acted so much like this in the past, you would likely to not have been even born.

    You reap what you sow and there isn't a whole lot of sowing, just reaping, and so, you can face the life of the reaper. It's miserable but you don't know why because you're taught in school happiness is found in monetary wealth, you can buy all this stuff and all these experiences. But it doesn't buy your natural self at your best and when you defy your natural self at your best you suffer. Of course this should be a choice but sometimes choices are so obscenely selfish and damaging to society at large, that you cannot justify it when you see your people dying around you, alone, depressed, on medication that is only numbing their sadness and not fixing any problems.

    Your goverments believe you were born to exist… to pay taxes, to serve the upper class. This got better for a while just after world war 2 but it seems to have been forgotten, when people came together and loved their country and appreciated men and appreciated women, now it's about money, fame, feminism and being as selfish as you want to be. Welcome to the world out of balance the world of Ying

  3. Man this video is 100 percent legitimate. I have so much anxiety in social situations. Over thinking, wondering, it’s mentally exhausting.

  4. Boooo freaking hooo he has anxiety and a billion dollars in his bank account..:try being an average joe with no money and shit load of depression and anxiety.

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