Lose the Stress, Just Be Late!


– Do you all know somebody
that’s always late? – [Audience] Yes! – Is anybody in here that’s usually late? (audience laughing) You know, people get
annoyed by late people. But let me tell you something. There’s a recent
scientific study that says that people who are late are likely to live longer and be more successful. (audience applauding) ‘Cause see, I think what
that means is because late people are less stressed, because when you late, when you show up you say I’m sorry. (audience laughing) But the truth is you really don’t give a damn. (audience laughing) (audience applauding)
That’s why you late. You ever tell people you
know that gets somewhere late all the time, you tell
’em the time is earlier? – [Audience] Yes! – So they’ll get there on time? – [Audience] Yes! – They ass still gonna be late. (audience laughing) I don’t care what you do. See now me for example,
I’m always on time. (audience laughing) The cue card lady busted out laughing. (audience laughing) (audience applauding) I’m the star of the show, you supposed to let me
say what I’m going to say. I said now me, I’m always on time, hah! (audience laughing) Well okay. Sometime. (audience laughing) ‘Cause you know I have
a slogan here at the job that everybody goes, Mr.
Harvey’s late, he’s running late. I say go ahead, start without me. (audience laughing) Anyway, a lot of people who
work for me, they are late. I have people who work for me. And they’re never stressed though. I’ve noticed that about my
employees that come in late. You work with people who come in late, they all never seem freaked, ’cause they walk in,
they use phrases like. What’d I miss? (audience laughing) What’d I miss? (audience applauding) What you mean what’d you miss? So where are we? What’s going on? Here’s the one that get me. So what y’all talking about? The hell you mean what we
talking about, this a meeting! (audience laughing) We have an agenda. We’re not fixing to start
over ’cause you came in. What we talking about? Yo job! (audience applauding) (audience cheering) Let’s do some hey Steve. (laughs) (upbeat music)

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