“Walter’s Wisdom: The joys of marriage” | Arguing with Myself  | JEFF DUNHAM

“Walter’s Wisdom: The joys of marriage” | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM

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– Getting married’s kinda
like buying a new car. – A new car? – You know when you see that car in the showroom floor, just
before you take it home? – [Jeff] Yeah. – That’s as good as it’s ever gonna look. (audience laughing) Pretty soon, it’ll have
dents and scratches, parts start to go bad. Then the new models come
out and you’re like, oh, oh, oh. (audience laughing) Honey, can I just sit in it? (audience laughing) Don’t remember, (imitates dog yelping) (audience laughing loudly) (audience clapping) – Walter, how’s the love life? – You mean sex? – Yeah. – I’m married, you moron. (audience laughing) I’m too old, to. – You’re not too old. – How would you know? – Well, I don’t know, but I
do know I have grandparents, well into their 80s were still having fun. – Their 80s? – Yeah. – Good god. What the hell kind of sex is that? Was it good for you? I can’t remember. (audience laughing loudly) We just finished. Who are you? (audience laughing) – Walter, you trying to tell me there’s nothing sexually going on between you and your wife? – It’s very difficult. She gripes about everything. – Like what? – She said I don’t make the
right noises during sex. – Sorry to hear that. – You want to hear what I do? – No. (audience laughing) – Alright you talked me into it. – Now, wait a minute. – Be careful. These are gonna be kinda pornographic. Get off. (audience laughing loudly) (audience clapping) I can’t see the Weather Channel. (audience laughing) – You know, Walter, I know
you know better than I do, but is there any kind of
foreplay for you guys? – Foreplay, at our age? Yeah, it’s come down to, “Hey, wake up.” (audience laughing) You know what oral sex for us is? – What? – She screams, “Screw you.”
and I yell, “Bite me.” (audience laughing) (audience clapping) – Come on, Walter, at your age, how do you keep things
fresh in the bedroom? – Febreeze. (audience laughing) I don’t know. My wife and I heard that
coffee’s good for your sex life. – Coffee? – Yeah.
– Is it? – No, it kept me awake
for the whole, damn thing. (audience laughing) I actually had to participate. Doctor said it’s bad for my heart, too. – Oh, the caffeine? – No, seeing my wife naked. (audience laughing) – That’s awful. – Oh, you’ve seen her, too? – No. (audience laughing) So, is coffee good for
the sex life or not? – I don’t know, but they’re never gonna let us back into that Starbucks again. (audience laughing) Well, we used a filter. (audience laughing) – You know, Walter, despite how you act, I bet when you were younger
you were quite a ladies man. – I used to chase skirts
all over the world. – Really? – Until I got to Scotland
and boy was I surprised. (audience laughing) – So, you had women everywhere? – I even dated a girl in India. – Really? – Lovely, young lady. – Sure. – Weird, ass country. – What’s wrong with India? – I don’t know, most of the women got a red dot in the
middle of their forehead. What the hell is that? You are here. (audience laughing) Maybe it lights up when
the coffee’s ready. (audience laughing) – I’m sorry. (audience laughing) – Scratch it off, you
freakin’ win something. – Will you stop. (audience laughing) – How about this? Hey, it looks like she’s
video taping me all the time. (audience laughing loudly) (swooshing) What would you call a player
in a management position? – Right. – Pimp. – What the hell’s going on? Our guy sucks. – Have you ever had an intervention? – Yeah, penicillin cleared her right up. – I do not use them.

100 thoughts on ““Walter’s Wisdom: The joys of marriage” | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM”

  1. "ѕнє ѕ¢яєαмѕ 'ѕ¢яєω уσυ' αи∂ ι ѕαу 'вιтє мє'
    ℓмвσ wє lσvє чσu wαltєr!!

  2. 4 play at our age it's come down to hay wack up you know what orel sex is she yells skru you and I yell bite me

  3. Most of the women got a red dot embriddled on their forehead. The hell is that? YOU ARE HERE.

    Maybe it lights up when the coffee's ready.

    Scratch it off, you friggin win somethin.


  4. When he said when he got to Scotland it might be true cause I am Scottish and this is making me laugh so much!?????????

  5. Waler: My wife and I heard coffee is good for your sex life!
    Jeff: Is it?
    Walter: No it kept me awake the whole dam thing. I actually had to participate. Doctor said it's bad for my heart too.
    Jeff: All caffeine.
    Walter: No seeing my wife naked!!

  6. Just a quick update, you lot do not need to repeat the jokes because we can hear them when we watch Jeff Dunham and therefore we don't need somebody to write the jokes down in the comments, f**king annoying.

  7. I usually don't like Jeff Dunham open monologue which seems silly to me, but I am in love with Walter. Ironically, Walter is Jeff Dunham

  8. Not sure who is trying to "run" with/against Trump for whatever is coming…

    I have two nominees….. they´ll have to choose their own state to come from, as naturally can´t be the same…

    For President, Mr. Jeff Dunam("H" removed, as to not provoke vegians).

    Minister of Domestic Affairs, Sir Walter….. without an "H" that is – probably saved for a "H"elpcall 🙂

  9. "You are here.”
    " Maybe it lights up when the coffee’s ready”.
    “Scratch it off, you frickin win something.”
    * Brief argument*
    “How about this, it looks like she’s video taping me all the time!”

  10. Watching from westallis WI
    Can't wait to see you live at WI state fair where Jose can meet Lots of things on a stick!

  11. …. Very Goofy …. Funny! …….. "What's a weird ass country??" …………
    …… a country where women are way too smart ….. to go near a man!"
    lol! …….

  12. Walter has the attitude of my Grandpa. And yes when I mention Jeff Dunham we start making jokes about Walter and my Grandpa.

  13. Jeff Dunham: You would have an instantly successful business venture if you had Achmed The Dead Terrorist masks produced for Halloween; maybe too late for this year but ready for the market next year. And I am not recommending the cheap ones produced in China, but high quality ones MADE IN USA with sturdy materials so they could be proudly hung on the wall year round.

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