What Painful Sex Feels Like | Body Language

What Painful Sex Feels Like | Body Language

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What it’s like for other people,
I would imagine… It’s intense, and looking into each
other’s eyes… ..ripping each other’s clothes off. Kissing, but, you know, like,
deep kissing. Like that’s the last kiss you’re
ever going to have in your life. And it’s passion. Yeah. My husband is amazing. And he is gentle and he’s loving, but for me, in my body, it’s like assembling a Meccano. What should be the most amazing
feeling, a lot of the time isn’t. When it hurts, it’s like glass
shattering inside you. Embedding itself. Sharp. The more you try to get it out,
the more it hurts. And then it’s not just the sex in
itself that’s painful, but it’s the after-pain. The cramping. And they can last up to two days. Sometimes it’s twisted, like someone
is wringing out a dish cloth. And it’s miserable. It’s so miserable. I think it was probably just before
we got married that the painful sex began. There was one particular time where
we’d finished and I had tears in my eyes, and they were just trickling down
my cheek, and my husband said, “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” And I’m like “No, it’s not you.” But he felt so guilty, and he just
said to me, “Why didn’t you stop me?” “Why didn’t you say, I cannot
do this?” And I was like, “But that’s not
what you do.” “You just get on with it.” And he was like, “You don’t ever
have to just get on with it.” “How do you think I feel knowing
that I’ve hurt you?” “That kills me.” Feeling like I’m not doing what
I should be doing, and not being the way that I
should be, as a wife and as a lover… That’s really hard to deal with. No.
SHE LAUGHS They didn’t believe me.
It was in my head, apparently. My GP said to me, “It’s fine.” “There’s nothing wrong with you.” And I said,
“But I know something is wrong.” And he was like,
“The scan showed nothing.” “There’s nothing wrong with you.” And I just felt absolutely crushed, like I was a bottle that had just
been screwed up. And that’s when I was like, “Maybe
it is in my head.” “Maybe I am going a bit crazy.” And my husband,
he was just like, “What’s wrong?” And so I told him that apparently
there was nothing wrong with me, and that the scan had come back
completely fine. And he was like,
“Well, that’s a load of shit.” When the doctor was like, “OK,
so what are your symptoms?” “Oh, painful periods, they’re
really heavy, they’re prolonged. “I’m fatigued, I feel sick.” And my husband was squeezing
my hand, and he was like, “And…? “Go on.” And I was like, “Oh, and sex is
really painful, as well.” The doctor was like, “OK, right.” “Pop a few ibuprofen and get on
with it.” Just, “You need to be a bit more
relaxed.” That’s really hard when you feel
like you’re being stabbed up the
vagina. SHE LAUGHS The painkillers and the medication
they gave me didn’t work. They did absolutely nothing. And he was still very reluctant to
do a laparoscopy to check. He was just about to finish
the appointment and I turned around and said, “You know, I’ve been having
unprotected sex for 18 months, “and I haven’t fallen pregnant.” And he kind of sat up in his chair,
and he went, “Well… “It can’t hurt to do a laparoscopy.” “We’ll just have a little look
and we’ll see what’s going on.” So, I had the operation in 2013 and I was diagnosed with severe
endometriosis. To not be believed by a doctor, feeling invisible even though you’re
there in the room with them, I found myself just detaching from
my body. And sometimes, you feel like,
“What’s even the point “of telling you how I feel,
if you’re not going to believe me?” I wish someone had told me when I
was younger to believe in myself more. And to know that I know my body… ..more than anybody else does.

100 thoughts on “What Painful Sex Feels Like | Body Language”

  1. My girlfriend and I had tried (only fingers) and I just can't do it at all. I love her dearly and I trust her so much and she never pressures me to do anything, but I can't insert anything without it being painful beyond pleasure. I think I may have vaginismus, but I'm not sure. But she's so caring and willing to help me through this, even though she can't pleasure me in the way I do to her. I feel like I'm disappointing myself more than her, because I've wanted this for so long, and to find out that something's messed up with me is dream-shattering. I'm so blessed to have someone like her though, who's said that if I never wanted sex in my entire life, that she'd still love me and never leave me. Thank you so much honey

  2. I suffer from this too and I’m in tears. It sucks feeling like I’m a failure as a partner bc I can’t give the person I love everything he deserves.

  3. Vaginismus to me feels like someone poured acid down my vagina, set it on fire, took hot metal to it and the started scraping the inside with a steak knife. All this pain when I try to have sex

  4. Me and my boyfriend did for the first time and it hurt so much while he was entering after a few thrusts I asked him to stop since it hurt. We respected me and my worries enough to stop and for the rest of the time we were together we walked together and joked around about animals

  5. i wonder how many people have lost their virginity after commenting “i’m scared to lose my virginity now” and “i will never have sex”

  6. I have endometriosis too. I’ve never had sex with a guy (I’m a gay female) but my periods are hell. I went to the er once because I felt like I was dying. Stay strong ladies ❤️

  7. I couldn't relate more. And the saddest part is that my ex knew he was hurting me and would get mad at me if i started crying. Just be careful with who you're having sex with. Find someone who respects you and makes sure you're okay.

  8. Me and my partner have sex when i was on my period. Yes i know gross but its fun for him amd relaxing so since im on period, doing certain positions and grinding me is painful but it's actually satisfying to see that he is having a good time inside me so like her i just GO ON WITH IT. also and yes, there are timea i almost cried of pain he got mad cause i didn't tell him and i let him finish so.

  9. First time only. It's quite normal it hurts cause you're a virgin.
    Then it's ok, and you have pleasure…not forget that if you feel nothing at all it's probably not your fault but the guy don't know how to do. Just some of men are thinking that 30 seconds it's ok…man you don't know women lol

    Never happen to me…thank god

    Just feel bad when my man asked me and i can't cause of his own behaviour. I had to go.. That's all.
    Passion is ok but when you feel that your man just want sex and not love…leave…

  10. Kinda tired of all the virgins saying they’re scared,do you have endo? No? Then you’re probably fine lol,go for it,it’s actually really good with the right person.

  11. The first time i had sex.. it was extra painful and my boyfriend was soo sad, then i got sick for two days he couldnt eat. He was so scared that he took me to one of the expensive hospital coz he thought it was his fault. But am okay now….. super fine. Your story is quite sad but its good you're okay now

  12. Why is painful intercourse more common among women than men? Here’s why:

    Once Adam and Eve commited the sin of tasting the fruit from the tree of life, Eve was punished, (for offering it to adam) and from then on, she experienced pain during intercourse and child birth. Painful sex is more common among women than men.God punished women with PAINFUL
    biological weaknesses. They are:

    1.) Having a hymen, which, if remained intact, can tear and hurt a woman during sex,
    2.) Vaginal dryness – if a woman is not aroused, sex can vaginally hurt her. IF a man is not
    aroused, its not genitally painful for him.
    3.) Painful first time intercourse, since virgin vaginas are not strong enough to accommodate a penis.
    While most virgin penises do not feel pain during first time.
    4.) Menstrual cramps
    5.) vaginismus, vulvodynia, yeast infections
    6.) Painful childbirth

    As God’s punishment for Eve, God made women weak. Women got so weak that a man’s punishment is to work hard to provide for a woman. 
    Both genders are punished, but since Eve had sinned first, her (and all women’s) suffering is more biological.

  13. I thought it's me only who feels so much pain when having sex..Please somebody experienced than me tell me when will I feel normal while having sex. I feel so much pain 😢

  14. I havent been diagnosed with anything but my first 3 times were some of my most painful experiences I ever had. It was like stabbing and it hurt me both physically and emotionally I thought I wasn't normal my bf tried his best to make things better and maybe now its better but still whish my first experience was good like my friends prepared me to expect and not a literal torture.

  15. The doctor did a shitty job. Imaging studies like ultrasound are not sufficient. Laparoscopy is the definitive method to diagnose Endometriosis. Findings of “cigarette burn” lesions are confirmatory. But basing on her symptoms alone, painful sex (dyspareunia), heavy menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia) , dysmenorrhea and inability to conceive already point to endometriosis. Endometriosis is the proliferation of endometrial glands outside of the uterine cavity. Cause is not known but the theory is that when menstrual blood back flows, it causes the endometrial gland proliferation. I understood what I was feeling after reading about endometriosis from Novak’s gynecology. (I’m a medical student). Also, what kind of idiot prescribes pain killers for dyspareunia?!?! Anyway, I have those symptoms described in the book and they’re identical to my mother’s. She had endometriosis plus endometrial polyps. She was infertile for 5 years till she was properly treated with medication and D&C for polyp removal. I’ve been having extremely painful cramps (dysmenorrhea) since college and I always needed to change my napkin at least 3 times a day. It came to a point where I had to use maternity pads cause regular napkins, even the overnight kind weren’t enough to absorb all the blood and sex IS painful. Exactly how the narrator described it. “Like glass breaking inside”. I did not enjoy it at all. I just felt so much pain. Recently I had my polyps removed so I’m hoping for the best. Consult an OB GYNE please if you feel like something is terribly wrong. 😔

  16. My first time having sex was painful, and I mean pain. He was enjoying himself and couldn't even see how much pain I was in.
    The whole process was pain😭😭.
    Virgin or not if that shit don't feel good stop him…….💪

  17. Lot's of interesting comments – her partner is an amazing man as all men should be . But what's important to know is this is not normal . She has endometriosis – that can't be diagnosed by a SCAN ! An exploratory laparoscopy must be done to diagnose!!! Ladies- do not fear sex – feel you have to stay a virgin because this is not the norm. Her infertility – all of the signs were there . Iam familiar with all of this as I too have endo and had to fight for my diagnosis .Even with endo I have had a very fruitful sex life and I have a a child- who I easily fell pregnant with. But in terms of having a second child it has not happened . I am satisfied with the child I have but know that the fact I haven't fallen pregnant with another indicates my disease has progressed. But dont feel like this is every womans experience . The comments of "I'll stay a virgin forever " are a bit insulting when this is due to a serious medical condition – not just having sex – she has endometriosis .

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